senpai-has-noticed-you: sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by cicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
considerablybigben: *puts down capri sun* i am ready for a sex
twelvefootmountaintroll: i’m gonna name my firstborn “arial” and people will be like “oh like the mermaid” and i’ll say “no like the font”
nurseblonda: “have you ever even had your first kiss yet?!”
bl-ind: *slam dunks your opinion into the trash*
so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg
dis0riented: When a guy calls you hot, he’s looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he’s looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful he’s looking at your heart. All three guys still wanna fuck you though.
poopflow: poopflow: i clicked a wrong link and yelled ABORT ABORT and my mom whispered i thought the same thing right before u were born
mailorderwife: It’s really cute when boys talk about their fears bc it makes them vulnerable and easier to destroy
jadeita: my drunken father came home, pointed at my socks and said ‘what the fuck are those’
toinfinityandbeyonce: i had this super christian friend once and one time she literally said to my face “i wish you were coming to heaven with me”
fennecat: no homo whole homo 2% homo skim homo
Guy: ...but I mean lesbian sex isn't REAL sex.
Me: Well, I mean, those sounds your sister made were pretty fucking real.
Controversial Gay Marriage Billboard in New...
montypythonandtheholyblog: ibelieveinthewinchesterbrothers: subject13fringe: montypythonandtheholyblog: today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket ❤ I fucking love this site 200k notes we can...